It‘s another level of expensive. 
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Honey!! Come here, I bought you a new bike!
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amen brother
Uff… I had a similar situation. It didn’t go well…
Is still not going well… And this was mid 2021…
I predict it will never be well… She still reminds me how much I spent on a stupid bike…
If you didn’t tell her it’s because you know what will happen.
Best of luck
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I used those words… Nope… 50% off on a 12k bike still a lot of money
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Ha ha.
You guys should have been there the day I got a Porsche.
I opened the curtains and said “Surprise!” 
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We had to stop at a bike shop for something a while back. My wife looked around quickly and said “Jeez can you believe people spend $2-3k on a bike?”
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I bought a new bike “without asking permission” once. I mistimed the delivery so was 200 miles away at work, in a meeting, when my phone rang with my wife going “What the fK is that massive box? Have you bought a f*ing bike?” It was a massive argument point for 2 whole weeks until fortunately I was hit by a car and the bike was destroyed. My ambulance ride and broken ribs got me just enough sympathy to cancel out the “betrayal” and we got on with our lives.
I eventually bought a new one but I was able to say this one was paid for by the insurance. I got there in the end 
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So you got a free* bike
*Not really, but you know what I mean.
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Friend of a friend on a group ride riding a Moots…. “I wanted a CX bike, so I just bought another Moots and put the same stuff on it. As long as they’re not in the same place at the same time, I’m good”
But yeah, I’ve had that moment where my wife suddenly realizes my bike may cost some money as a whole (I never bought an expensive bike as a whole). I was on vacation, and just left it in the private stonewalled courtyard of our VRBO. She said “are you going to lock it? No?” Then I saw her “doing math” face.
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I am just going to say good luck, I hope you all the best…
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Don’t mention it, and then through a “you never listen to me” paddy when she notices it
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A phrase I never expected to read on this board. 
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Based on a market analysis, I bought a product I will be able to sell in a couple of years and make money.
Gives you a couple of years to explain what happened to the market.
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Just put a dress on it and tell her you’re having an affair, just easier…
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I make sure she doesn’t see it for a good few months (the longer the better). Then when she does eventually see it and asks if you got a new bike, you can - entirely honestly - say “nah, I’ve had that one for ages”. Better yet if you have time-stamped photos from months ago to prove it.
I’ve done the “same colour” trick more than once as well.
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This is next level extremes but we do what we gotta do am I right? (In all seriousness… Glad you’re ok!)
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This is pointless wihtout pics of the new bike or “upset spouse stare” 
Ummm yeah I loaned this one out a few years back,…to a new rider who finally got their own,…yeah was at the shop getting serviced…
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An excellent point…5 point deduction from @Jolyzara’s account for not posting fresh bike pjorn pics.
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