I’m not sure if it’s anxiety or what, but I seem to have so much trouble on these ramping sustained power threshold workouts like Tower. I do not run out of cardio and I don’t believe my legs give out but the whole time I’m working my way to the final interval I’m just getting ramped up mentally fearing or something about the final interval. I keep reminding myself that I can do this no problem but it feels like all the built up anxiety makes me lose the will to continue into and through the final interval. I gave in last night just a few minutes into the last interval. Maybe these are best done earlier in the day rather than after a whole day of making decisions so there’s less mental fatigue. Also, coming off of sickness did not help, but I feel that was just another excuse I made in the moment to give in.
I think what got me through anxiety years ago was thinking that I’m not important and that the people around me are doing the same things I am and are not having problems. One favorite thought that frightened me in the beginning was to envision myself in the context of the universe, and that I’m so insignificant, and my fears are so insignificant that I should just calm the ‘f’ down and handle what I can the best way I can. Sure, I’ve had anxiety during Covid and even now, but I can usually roll back the feelings and get a firmer footing.
One thing that surprised me, back at my worst, was using the video game Diablo to build self confidence. It sounded surprising at the time, but fighting the games monsters was a distraction, a way to blow off steam, and fun… Flying is my remaining anxiety sink, and I do the best I can. Turbulence doesn’t freak me out, it’s the dwelling on the ‘human factor’. I even took ground school to try to deal with my fear of flying, and was up to spins and stalls when I had to drop dreams of being a pilot, saving me more money for bikes.
For riding, one of my past docs told me that no one has died while exercising. Exercise really helps, and getting sun on the skin and light in the eyes helps incredibly. (Keep your eyes closed)
Anxiety doesn’t have to be debilitating. Anxiety can signify a ‘loss of control’ and exerting some control over your life helps too…
In the worst of it, decades ago, carrying a small vial with a tranquilizer helped too, knowing that if I needed it, I could get help, but never using it, helped free me too.
Think outside the box, and get the help where ever you can.
And quotes from books and movies helped too:
- Arthur: All my life I’ve had this strange feeling that there’s something big and sinister going on in the world.
- Slartibartfast: No, that’s perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that.
I’ve developed a deliciously dark sense of humor too. Do the best you can, and shove the rest.
Definitely helps me to workout in the morning instead of night for same reason. Less wound up and still half-asleep–no time to dread I’m usually deep into the warm up before I wake up. I also make a rule to dig deep on the last interval and pretend I’m winning the race and do second to last in the drops/aero position so gives me something else to focus on.