Please go easy on yourself! If you’re new to indoor training and structured training, it’s naturally going to take you some time to adjust. I had to do the ramp test 3 times when I first started because I had no idea how the ramp test or the erg mode works… it took me the entire SSB 1 to get used to indoor and structured training.
I see this thread as motivational, and am genuinely excited for the gains that other people have made. I encourage you to see posts on this page in the same way. I’ve just started Build phase, and now understand just how bloody hard the workouts are. I now see that each person’s gains as hard-fought and am inspired by everyone’s efforts. Where else could you find a community of people who are so prepared to put themselves through hell for at least 1-2hrs, 3-6 times a week? That itself is inspiring.
I see the posts on this thread not as boasts on how strong one has gotten, but as electronic fist pumps which say, “HEAL YEAH. I worked hard and I got there. You can too!”.
You “may be dreaming” in setting a goal of 185 FTP by September. But aren’t goals dreams?
Why set yourself a goal that’s easy to achieve?
Here’s a post on another page that has a similar flavour to what you’ve said. Hope you get some inspiration from the responses in this thread too:
I’m very happy to hear you’re at the beginning of your TR journey. I’m looking forward to checking back in September and seeing that you’ve reached your goal. Sky is the limit!