What at topic amirite? Ok, so I’m going to do LOTOJA (200 mile race in Utah/Idaho/Wyoming) this fall and I’ve heard breathings on the internet that some guys use condom catheters for relieving themselves while on course, especially for a race as long as this one. Very neat trick. So. For those of you who have donned a condom catheter and are smiling fondly while reading this, any favorite kind? Favorite type? Looking on Amazon there’s like 40 different kinds and brands and I’m getting paralysis of choice. Help me out here. I’m willing to just pee on the bike if need be, or if I’m not going to get dropped, go in a portable toilet on course. But, if there’s ever an option where I can wrap my dongle in latex, I’ll ALWAYS go with that option. Let me know.
Wideband is the go to brand for all us dry suit divers with a pee valve. Wideband has a size guide and will send you a couple of samples. Ya ya, I know, you need the biggest one they make. 
Follow the size guide. Also, if you have never used these, make sure you’re shaved smooth. These things stick and stay stuck. Best bet when you want to remove is to do that in the shower as hot water and soap will help. Good luck in your condom cath adventure.
Ron
Never thought I’d see such a thing.
Do you drain it mid-race to drop the weight from added urine carriage? Or really just carry up to a liter of urine around on your leg for the remainder of the race?
You run a tube back to your bottle of course
I think it’s just a short tube with no bag. So you just stick the tube out of your shorts and let loose. Preferably at the back of the peloton, probably. Less risk of overspray I’d imagine.
Bear Grylls would certainly do this for an Xterra triathlon…
If this was useful/viable I’m sure a whole bunch of triathletes I know would be using them. Reality is, they just wet themselves.
Grown adults. 
Some times they spray themselves with water to rinse it a bit,
So never used one personally, but I am a physician so have experience with them from that regard. I cannot imagine riding a bike with one on would be comfortable. Having rubber/silicon etc on your Johnson with a tube stuffed somewhere while attempting to pedal is asking for massive chaffing in an area you don’t want it…
My god I wish I had never opened this thread….
But as long as I’m here, I’ll say you should just pee on the bike and give yourself a spray of water after. Problem solved.
Better Call Saul
I’ll stick to just peeing in my shorts on the bike. Dries quick enough and provides some evaporative cooling effect.
Best of luck with the product search!
Electrolytes are electrolytes.
200 miles and you can’t stop to pee in a bush?
Are you bringing a colostomy bag too?
This is an incredibly bad idea. Please do yourself a favor and don’t do this. No bike race is worth skin ulceration there. Find a bush.
I say “go for it!” And make sure to post back about how it goes. Lololol. I said “go”. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Here’s a blog post about a team who has done LOTOJA multiple years using condom catheters every race, with success: LOTOJA Must Knows - Bike Accident Attorneys this is one of the places I heard about it. But I love all the armchair experts in here, it’s great to see.
Also, for reference: I’m a 5x full Ironman finisher, and have probably peed my bodyweight on my bike over the years. Call me crazy, but I don’t love the feeling of the pee pooling in my shoe, smelling faintly of urine, or having to take an extra bottle of water and “rinse off” afterward. If there’s a better way, I’m for it.
Also also: The main reason triathletes don’t do this is the swim before the bike, and the run afterward. It’s been since college that I’ve run with a condom on, and I don’t recommend it. But if you’re sitting down in a saddle? Condom catheter starts to sound like not a bad idea, especially if it stays on pretty well and doesn’t chafe/hurt, and you can aim the golden stream away from your legs/shoes. That’ll be the test. But as mentioned previously, it seems like multiple people have used this, with success.
I have a pack of condom catheters coming my way, so maybe I’ll update you all with my success/massive failure. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll just keep this as my secret after everyone blasting me for considering not pissing all over myself like I’ve done for the last 7 years. We shall see.
Clearly you’re very ok with getting blasted off the back of the peloton and solo riding 200 miles like a muppet. Godspeed brother.
This is truly an incredible thread. Whatever happened to gentleman’s agreement to slow it down for a pee break? What do the women do? I have so many questions and don’t really want answers.
Condom Catheters, the new Shit That Will Kill Them (ref Lance Armstrong). 
Finished a gran fondo today. was in a group of three at the crest of a climb in a feed zone. I dropped the bottle. Went to slow down and the two guys on my wheel attacked ahead of an eight mile descent. It took me half an hour to bridge a 200m gap. In a gran fondo… 