Same here re: Gatorade. I find it to be really heavy and syrupy - it also makes my mouth sticky. Flat soda (or now Pepsi Nitro) sit well and have a ton of sugar with the added bump of caffeine!
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It’s also sour, which doesn’t work for me at all in heat
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I like a little carbonation. The burps help me feel better a lot of times!
If I am running… that’s a different story, which is why triathletes like flat coke.
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Ride Fast Eat Trash miss:
Pop tarts. Seemed good in theory, in practice: dry as heck and mega crumbly. 4/10 for flavor and value.
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I cut it with a bit of water in my bottle and it helps quite a bit. All about finding the flavor that works for you!
Saw boxes of 6 Hostess Fruit Pies at the grocery store today. Thought of this thread. Said, no, I will not buy those in bulk here for $0.50 a piece. I will overpay at a gas station for the same thing just so I don’t have to carry it.
The spirit of ride fast, eat trash.
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I will not buy them in bulk because they would not make it until Saturday’s ride.
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100% agree.
@redlude97, ever the pragmatist. This is what I do, too, if I’m buying something. 
But in the spirit of being cheap, true to my usual self, I’ve often packed extra sugar and salt into a concentrate bottle and am just filling it up with water at the gas station.
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This sort of blasphemous behavior is not in the spirit of “Ride Fast, Eat Trash” 
I think this is best posted in the “Sensible and Slow” topic haha
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I prefer robotic and mediocre, thank you. 
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Keegan had a great tip several podcasts ago - he agreed that Poptarts are too crumbly and dry, he found some soft pretzel PopTarts though that were much better. I’ve tried them and I agree.
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Counterpoint: Costco is god tier trash shoppe. Nothing sets you up for a Very Nice Ride like a little baggie of your favourite candy.
Those little Panda chocolate biscuit things at a Costco are amazing.
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I did this on my 200 miler… made a 5 hour bottle. I was going fine the whole way… but yeah, about halfway through I wanted some gas station trash anyway. 
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Years back, each year a group would leave from Upstate SC and ride to Myrtle Beach.
Non stop (except for refuels). It would take us 15-16 hours.
I had made a whole loaf of bread into PB and Honey sandwiches, we had packages of lunch meat in the sag vehicles. Loads of Gatorade.
Then on a mid ride stop, I remember eating a Klondike Ice Cream bar and a cheeseburger
At the end of the ride, a pizza was the best!!
Hump
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An Arnold Palmer is one of my favorite summery drinks; I can’t believe I’ve never thought to look for one at a gas station stop.
Gonna go for a long ride now…
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I discovered that one Spring Break on Sanibel….but it was the Caddyshack brand.
Fantastic.
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Red Bull and .99 size bag of lays original for the NOW, over-ripe banana in the pocket for later, and I will NEVER eat a spicy pickle mid-bonk ever again.
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Also, quite high on the “trash” rating, a definite positive in my book.
The Kroger app includes an OptUP Nutrition rating for foods. Fruit Pies earn a hearty 15/100 
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I remembered an anecdote from last summer. A friend of mine took part in one of these ultra cycling events, the Transiberica. Turns out that what most of the riders settled for was Burger King stuff. Their reasoning was: it’s cheap, it’s got loads of calories, it tastes the same everywhere so you know what to expect, and the burgers just don’t go bad. They would stop in a Burger King in the middle of nowhere and buy , say half a dozen burgers and stash them in their bags. Sometimes the burgers were there for a whole day, in the summer heat, but they were just fine for eating anyway.
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